It becomes blatantly apparent, though, when you take him to the lake. Especially when the water isn't exactly calm and it's not exactly warm. This time, there wasn't very much wind, and that really helped. But as soon as we stepped onto the sand, Matthew started to fuss and even cry a little.
"There's sand in my sandals!" That's okay, Matthew - that's why they're called SAND-als. "It's too loud!" Try putting your hood up and see if that helps. "I want to leave this place!" Let's just sit on this log for a few minutes and see if we can see any boats in the water, and play with your toys.
So we sat on the log. It was probably 30 feet from the water, but Matthew was still wary. I assured him over and over again that we weren't going swimming and not getting wet at all. And we sat.
And then I took off my shoes. The sand was warm and soft against my skin. I showed Matthew how I could wiggle my toes into the sand to bury them. And he took off his shoes, too! And after a moment of hesitation, he put them in the sand and wiggled his toes like me. And the issues just ... melted away.
I left the log. Scooted my way across the sand, about 3 feet, toward some rocks and shells that were nearby. Matthew followed with his little toy action figures that he had brought with him. He played with them in the sand, burying them and digging them up. Making them talk to each other and having adventures. He dug his hands deep into the dry sand and found the damp sand underneath. He made a road.
I scooted a little farther away, and Matthew followed; he never left my side. So I stood up, walked toward the water a little, and we looked for pretty rocks and intact shells. The noise of the water was just too much for him, though, so I told him to find a place to play on the beach where he was comfortable and that I would be there in a minute to play with him. And that's all it took to detach him from my hip. He found a nice little spot, plunked himself down, and played for 10 minutes without me. This is an advantage of going to the lake when it's 50 degrees outside - there was NOBODY else there. We had it all to ourselves.
After a few more minutes, it was time to head home. We gathered our things together and carried our shoes. It seems that as long as he doesn't get sand in his shoes, he doesn't mind walking in the sand. I will know next time to have him take off his shoes before we take a single step on the sand - we'll see if that helps his mood at the beginning. If it doesn't, that's okay. I know I can help him enjoy the beach, even if he is worried when we first get there.
And I know there will be a next time, because he asked me as we were leaving, "Can we come back on a different day, please?" And he was all smiles.
