How to Get Compliments on Your Hair

I have the kinkiest, curliest hair of anyone I know. It's always been really hard to manage and to be honest, it hardly ever looks nice. It's ok - I know this about myself and it's something I have come to terms with. My hair is never going to look like those women on the shampoo commercials, you know? It doesn't swing around when I turn my head and it doesn't cascade down when you lift it up and let it fall.

Anyway, yesterday I got TWO compliments during the day about my hair. Very unusual! So I had to think back and see what I had done that was different. I should sell this information for one *billion* dollars, but you guys are my friends so I will tell you the secret for free.

• While in the shower, realize that you are almost out of shampoo. Open the bottle, add a little water to the half-teaspoon of shampoo that is in there, swirl it around, and pour it onto your head. It's not enough to lather much, but it's shampoo so your hair is clean, right?
• Get out of the shower, dry off, get dressed, and then get distracted before you even get a comb through it.
• Twenty minutes before you are supposed to be somewhere that is fifteen minutes away, run some leave-in conditioner through your hair, add a little water, and hope for the best.
• Have the best hair day of your life; enjoy the compliments!

I really don't get it, LOL. I didn't think it looked all that special but apparently I was having a good hair day for a change. I'll take it!

How to Eat a Banana, Matthew Style

1. Drag the whole bunch of bananas to your mom and say, "NUH!" loudly to get her attention.
2. Suffer through being coached on the proper way to ask for things.
3. Say, "Peas ... have ... NUH!" and be rewarded with a banana - just what you wanted in the first place.
4. Rock back and forth on your toes and heels, squeeze your hands together, and alternate between screeching excitedly and saying, "Um, um, um!" while taking bites of the air in front of you while you wait for your mom to peel it part way and hand it to you. She's smart - she knows you would never even consider holding a banana without the peel.
5. Thoroughly enjoy eating half of the banana, saying after bites, "Nuh ... ummy!" and "I ... uv ... nuh!" and wiggling in excitement and taking little jumps.
6. Watch your dad get a powdered doughnut out of the cabinet.
7. Say, "Maff-you ... hate ... nuh!" and try to give the half-eaten banana back to your mom.
8. Turn to your dad, point at the doughnut, and say, "Share ... me!" and try to give the banana back to your dad.
9. Get frustrated. Tell your dad, frantically, "Give ... that ... me! Want ... eat!" and start to cry.
10. Throw the banana across the room and scream, "No ... want ... nuh!" and launch yourself into a fit on the floor.
11. Sit in the naughty chair for 2 minutes for throwing food.
12. When you are allowed to get up, take the banana from where your mom placed it on the kitchen table.
13. Make sure no one is looking.
14. Take a bite and smile. Say, softly, "Maff-you ... ike ... nuh!"
15. Finish the banana down to the last half-inch, happy again.
16. Throw the empty peel and the last half-inch nub in the garbage. Your mom knows you never, ever eat the last half-inch of a banana and she is OK with that.