Passport Photos and Paperwork, Oh My!

Yesterday I got my passport book application out in the mail. I imagine that under normal circumstances, this is kind of no big deal. But because I am a procrastinator and took too long to apply for a copy of my birth certificate, the whole application process was harried and riddled with anxiety.

First, I filled out the application online and printed it. It comes with 4 pages of instructions and rules, all in tiny print. I pored over them several times - what to bring, what to include, how much it will cost, how long it will take, where to send the application, etc.

One of the things on the list of things to bring are 2 color passport photos. Now, I have been known to take a few pictures in my life (ha!) and I really, really thought about tackling this job myself. The requirements are that the picture has to be taken on a white or very light background, be a certain size, and then your head has to be a certain size within the picture and has to be a certain distance away from the sides, etc. So I decided that it would be worth it to just have someone else do it and get it over with.

I looked around the Internet to find a place that does these pictures. Sears charges $15 and no appointment is required. But, man. Fifteen dollars is a lot of money for 2 tiny pictures. So I chose CVS Pharmacy instead. The cost was only $8. BUT - there was a coupon for $2 off. So for $6 I could get my passport pictures in seconds and be done with that part.

So I packed Matthew into the car (without shoes - couldn't find them anywhere so I *assumed* they had been left in the car. Nope.) We drove to the closest CVS that does passport pictures which happens to be in Indiana. We have been to this store plenty of times.

A side note about CVS Pharmacy: Did you know that if you plan your shopping carefully, clip coupons from the paper, and use their Extra Bucks program, you can get stuff for literally pennies at CVS? I still have 12 bars of soap and 3 tubes of toothpaste that I bought last year for some insane amount of money, like $0.12 each. Some day, I will get back into shopping at CVS but it's a lot of work and can take a lot of time gathering coupons.

By the way, I did have the presence of mind to call the store first to make sure that they really did sell passport photos, that someone was there to take the picture, and that the machine that printed them was working. And it's a good thing I did, because the first store I called had a faulty machine. See? (tapping temple) Smart.

Anyway, when we get there, no one is at the photo counter. I wait there for a few minutes with my coupon and watch the lady working at the register. I keep thinking that she must see me standing there, why doesn't she call the photo person over to help me? Finally, I ask her if there is someone who can help me and she says that she is it - be right with you!

I tell her I need a passport photo, and she pulls out this rinky-dink point and shoot camera and leads me over to the milk coolers where they have a white screen they can pull down for a background. I'm thinking, "Great. This isn't going to be good." And I was right.

She took a second to pull the previous passport pictures that had just finished printing out of the Kodak machine and they were awful. I got a glance and told her that I was very, very concerned about the darkness of the picture since the requirements are to use a light background. She did show me (again) the white background that she was going to place me in front of, and I told her I understand that the background is white in real life, but that if the pictures come out as brown as the ones I just saw then I know they will be rejected and my application will be sent back.

She assured me that she was familiar with the time sensitive nature of passport applications, and that she would do her best to take a great picture. So, we began the picture taking business. Blech. After a few tries (under the yellow incandescent lights of the store, mind you) I asked her if maybe she could try using the flash on the camera. Would you believe she had the nerve to tell me that she had been using the flash already?!

Right. Despite being the one standing on the receiving end, and despite being really concerned about this picture and therefore really paying a lot of attention to what is happening, I must have somehow missed the blinding glare of a flash going off 3 feet from my face. Right. (Bill Cosby, anyone?)

So I asked her, very sweetly, if she would please check her camera settings and try one more time? Amazingly, she got the flash to go off. She then proceeded to change the mode of the camera between action and macro and landscape modes, trying to get a good shot. I am sure that I was the world's pickiest passport photo customer and she didn't seem to be having a good time at all. Fifteen dollars was starting to sound pretty reasonable, but I persevered because I am stubborn like that.

There were now about 3 people lined up at her register and I could see that she was getting agitated. We looked at the pictures on the Kodak machine and I gritted my teeth and picked out the one that I thought might work. If only I could just adjust the colors/brightness on the Kodak machine for her ... but no. She is adamant that there is no way to do that.

I wandered around the store for a few minutes while the picture printed. I wasn't thrilled with the end result but it had to do because I was bound and determined to get the application out in the mail, and it was already 1:00 p.m. The girls get out of school at 2:30 p.m. and I wanted to get it done before then.

We headed back to IL to our local post office since I had a bunch of packages to mail anyway (those clothes are selling pretty well!) I got all my packages mailed and then pulled out my passport application. Turns out that, even though our local post office is listed as an authorized passport processing center, it isn't. I guess I should have phoned first.

The lady at the counter, honest to goodness, asked me, "Do you want to go ahead and mail all your documents anyway?" I mean, come on now. Seriously?! No, thanks. Thankfully, she was able to tell me where to take my forms to get them processed. It's 1:45 p.m. Yikes!

On we go, to the post office in the next town to get our paperwork processed. Matthew has fallen asleep, now, so I have to carry his dead-weight body and try to sign forms, write checks, seal envelopes ... oh my aching arms! But I'd rather have them aching from carrying him than aching from not having him, so it was ok.

In order to make the best attempt at getting my passport before we leave around June 16th, I overnighted my application, birth certificate, photos, copy of my driver's license, and check to the facility in Philadelphia. I paid to expedite the process. I paid to have the passport overnighted back. My checkbook hates me.

But standing on Prince Edward Island in just a few months and pretending with my children that we are part of Anne-with-an-e's world, full of hope and promises of the future ... well, there's a lot of "scope for the imagination" in that thought.