"All My Bags Are Packed, I'm Ready To Go..."

Well, the car is 90% packed up for our trip! I'll try to remember to take a picture in the morning before we leave. I am so glad that it seems like everything we'd hoped to bring (but not much else!) is going to fit in the van.

The first part of our trip will take us to my parents' farm in Missouri where we'll stay for a couple of days. The kids are anxious to see "Farm Grandma" and "Papa" and I'm excited to see them, too!

We won't be tenting it yet - thankfully my parents have an extra bed. I'm sure I'll savor the last few nights of comfortable sleeping.

Wish us luck - it takes about 9 hours to get there from our home near Chicago.

Half Way to Adulthood

My oldest baby girl, Hannah, turned 9 years old a few days ago. Now a lot of people say that '10' is the big milestone birthday, but I think that '9' is really overlooked.

Think about it. In another 9 years, she will be considered an adult. Old enough to vote. Old enough to go to college ... or not go to college. Old enough to join the military and go fight for her country and for the freedom of its citizens ... if she chooses to do so.

The first 9 years of her life have flown by, which makes me think that these next 9 are going to go just as quickly. So we are celebrating this year - the overlooked 9th birthday - halfway to being 'grown.'

But secretly, I hope that she stays little as long as she can.

I'm Feeling Insecure

A recent series of less-than-supportive comments (not on this blog but other places) has made me feel insecure about this trip. It's nothing specific, really, just a general "you're crazy for doing this" kind of comments that I can usually skirt past without letting it bother me. But if you hear it enough, it does start to get to you.

And I feel like I'm not allowed to be upset with the kids at all right now. If I get at all frustrated with them, there is always that knowledge, lingering in the background of everyone's mind, that in just a few days I'll be on my own with them for a month straight. And I know that is what people are thinking when I say anything about the kids right now.

So I feel pretty stressed out trying to get everything done and stay organized about it all, without feeling like I can vent about the kids' behavior or any frustrations I am experiencing.

And the more I hear things like, "You'll probably have to come home early" and "That's a long time to be away from home" and "It's really irresponsible and unsafe for you to try to do this without your husband" the more likely I am to dig in my heels even if things get bad and be stubborn about proving everyone wrong. I can see it now: we'll be there in our tent in the middle of hurricanes and thunderstorms, everyone will be cold and wet and miserable, and begging to go home, bitten up by mosquitos and sunburned on the beach, and I won't be able to take them home. But it won't be my fault. I can't let anyone be right about me not being able to do this. ;)

This is what I don't understand: What if I was a single mom? What if I didn't have the option of having anyone else along to help? Would we just be expected to stay home forever and never do anything? Or would we just not be allowed to do the 'adventurous' things without a man? I just don't understand that thought process at all. What if I was a man? Would it be ok to do adventurous things without my wife?

I figure - I have 80 or 90 years, tops, to live on this Earth. Why would I let something as small as having to do something alone keep me from living?!

Three Beautiful Things

Beautiful Thing Number One:

My daughter, Becky (although she insists on being called Rebecca at school,) just celebrated her 6th birthday. Isn't she cute? I love how little kids look when they're missing their front teeth. Here are the kids singing "Happy Birthday" to Becky in my classic birthday cake shot. I really did put 6 candles on the cake even though the picture makes it look like only 4.





Becky also just graduated from Kindergarten. Why does that tug at my heartstrings so much? I've been through it twice already but I will admit that I cried a little when I watched her sing songs with her class and receive her 'diploma.' I cried at every single one of the kids kindergarten graduations. Just a little. But I'm a self-proclaimed sap, so it should be no big surprise.



I love this picture of my family walking home from Kindergarten graduation. Personalities!!

Tyler - strong head of the family, leading his little brood home, and yet totally oblivious to what is going on behind him. He just *assumes* that they will all follow him home blindly like good little ducklings.

Hannah - first born, leader of the children. She will walk next to Daddy to be sure he doesn't need any help finding the way. She is in constant competition with us to take charge of this family.

Rebecca - refusing to be left out. It's her special day so she should be the one to walk in front! But since she can't get between the two leaders, she will walk one step behind them and look for an opening.

Clara - caring, empathetic. She will take care of the youngest one. Doesn't anyone else see that he is about to run into the road?!

Matthew - bold, daring, stubborn. He will not be restrained! NO - he won't hold Clara's hand or allow her to lead him back to safety!

Me - watching from behind the lens of a camera. For the record, I did run up and get Matthew back on the sidewalk. But not till after I got this shot.



Beautiful Thing Number Two:

Meet our new kitty, Lily. We adopted her from the South Suburban Humane Society on Becky's birthday. She is a family pet, but we did allow Becky to name her. I really like the name she chose.





Beautiful Thing Number Three:

Isn't it the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? See how the gold lettering contrasts so nicely with the dark cover. Marvel at how the sunlight glistens all around it. I think I hear a choir of angels singing!

Sharing Concerns

I've been talking to friends and family about our trip, and it is interesting to hear what people's main concerns are regarding the trip.

Tyler's Concerns:

Taking the Kids Swimming - a very valid concern and one that I've been pondering since the beginning of this trip planning process. Since I won't have any help, it really would not be safe to take the 4 kids to the pool without a solid plan in place.

1. I have no problem with having the kids swim 'in shifts'. For instance, two sit out on the side and two swim, and then swap after a set amount of time.
2. If the pool is really busy, we simply won't go swimming right then.
3. Setting and enforcing boundaries will be the key to swimming at the beach. I haven't completely tossed out the idea of tying a 30' length of rope to each of their ankles so that I can keep track of all of them at once at the beach. We'll see how it goes - take this one as it comes since I don't know how busy it will be and what I'll feel comfortable letting them do.

Staying Safe in the Tent - another scary but valid concern. I'm glad someone is thinking proactivley about this. I'm putting my head in the sand about it and just *assuming* that there are enough honest and friendly people around the campsites that if I scream then someone will come to my aid. Oh, and I will probably sleep with a claw hammer under my pillow ... and I'm not afraid to use it.

My Mother-In-Law's Concerns:

Getting Lost - I'm not too concerned about this one, actually. Have map ... will travel. I'm pretty good at reading the atlas, and I'm not afraid to ask for directions when needed. If we don't make it to where we are supposed to end up for the night, we'll find someplace else to stay. I'm flexible that way.

Getting Tired - This did cross my mind when planning the trip and it's actually one of the reasons the trip is so long. I had some specific places in mind that I wanted to see and experience, but I didn't want to be in the car for hours and hours each day. Because of this, I specifically made each day's drive an average of 5 hours long, and even that has an activity break in the middle. Most of the time, we'll arrive on one day, stay a second day, and then leave in the early morning of the third day. So I think it'll be ok.

My Mom's Concerns:

Getting Eaten By Bears - I will say that I had originally planned on camping for 2 nights in the boundaries of the Great Smokey Mountain National Park which is kind of in bear territory. I eventually did decide to switch that segment's camping site to a nearby KOA instead. I'll still keep all of the food in the van, but I do think that we'll be safer here instead. As much as I want to say this is a silly concern (just because it sounds funny: "You'll get eaten by bears!" "Ha, ha, ha! You're so silly!") I can't say that because I had the same concern.

My Concerns:

Running Out of Money - This is a huge fear of mine. I am working on building a moderate excess amount just in case something happens and I've either miscalculated or didn't think about something. Kind of like a trip emergency fund. If we get a flat tire it would be nice to just be able to buy a new one.

Losing a Kid - This is a big one, too. I'm not a kid-leash kind of person, but I would consider one of those metal framed back-packs if I thought I could find one that would fit me and one that Matthew would actually like. I tried one once at one of our consignment sales and he freaked out, big time. So I'll just stick with the stroller for now. I did have some cards made that have all of our emergency contact info on them and I'll put one in each kid's pocket in the morning so that if we get separated we'll at least have a chance of finding each other again.

The Car Breaking Down - Considering everything we went through to get it running, I have a fear that it will break down mid trip. Here's where that trip emergency fund comes into play again - if I need to rent a car to get back home, it would be nice to be able to do that. So I'm still selling clothes in order to build up that fund!

The Kids Hating the Trip - It would break my heart if I put all this planning and preparation into this trip for the kids and they are bored and whiny the whole time. I'm trying to add a lot of variety to the trip and I know how much they love to swim, so I'm hoping that they'll be ok. I really feel that this trip could be a great bonding experience for us. A "mom and kid" thing.

Crossing the Border Back into the US from Canada - Ugh. I hope I am able to get my passport either in the mail before I leave or having Tyler overnight it to me somewhere along the way. This is a big, lurking, looming fear.

I'm sure there are more, but these are the ones that come immediately to mind. And I'm sure everything will be fine, but it would be best to have a plan of action for this kind of stuff, I think.

How to Eat a Banana, Matthew Style

1. Drag the whole bunch of bananas to your mom and say, "NUH!" loudly to get her attention.
2. Suffer through being coached on the proper way to ask for things.
3. Say, "Peas ... have ... NUH!" and be rewarded with a banana - just what you wanted in the first place.
4. Rock back and forth on your toes and heels, squeeze your hands together, and alternate between screeching excitedly and saying, "Um, um, um!" while taking bites of the air in front of you while you wait for your mom to peel it part way and hand it to you. She's smart - she knows you would never even consider holding a banana without the peel.
5. Thoroughly enjoy eating half of the banana, saying after bites, "Nuh ... ummy!" and "I ... uv ... nuh!" and wiggling in excitement and taking little jumps.
6. Watch your dad get a powdered doughnut out of the cabinet.
7. Say, "Maff-you ... hate ... nuh!" and try to give the half-eaten banana back to your mom.
8. Turn to your dad, point at the doughnut, and say, "Share ... me!" and try to give the banana back to your dad.
9. Get frustrated. Tell your dad, frantically, "Give ... that ... me! Want ... eat!" and start to cry.
10. Throw the banana across the room and scream, "No ... want ... nuh!" and launch yourself into a fit on the floor.
11. Sit in the naughty chair for 2 minutes for throwing food.
12. When you are allowed to get up, take the banana from where your mom placed it on the kitchen table.
13. Make sure no one is looking.
14. Take a bite and smile. Say, softly, "Maff-you ... ike ... nuh!"
15. Finish the banana down to the last half-inch, happy again.
16. Throw the empty peel and the last half-inch nub in the garbage. Your mom knows you never, ever eat the last half-inch of a banana and she is OK with that.

Passport Photos and Paperwork, Oh My!

Yesterday I got my passport book application out in the mail. I imagine that under normal circumstances, this is kind of no big deal. But because I am a procrastinator and took too long to apply for a copy of my birth certificate, the whole application process was harried and riddled with anxiety.

First, I filled out the application online and printed it. It comes with 4 pages of instructions and rules, all in tiny print. I pored over them several times - what to bring, what to include, how much it will cost, how long it will take, where to send the application, etc.

One of the things on the list of things to bring are 2 color passport photos. Now, I have been known to take a few pictures in my life (ha!) and I really, really thought about tackling this job myself. The requirements are that the picture has to be taken on a white or very light background, be a certain size, and then your head has to be a certain size within the picture and has to be a certain distance away from the sides, etc. So I decided that it would be worth it to just have someone else do it and get it over with.

I looked around the Internet to find a place that does these pictures. Sears charges $15 and no appointment is required. But, man. Fifteen dollars is a lot of money for 2 tiny pictures. So I chose CVS Pharmacy instead. The cost was only $8. BUT - there was a coupon for $2 off. So for $6 I could get my passport pictures in seconds and be done with that part.

So I packed Matthew into the car (without shoes - couldn't find them anywhere so I *assumed* they had been left in the car. Nope.) We drove to the closest CVS that does passport pictures which happens to be in Indiana. We have been to this store plenty of times.

A side note about CVS Pharmacy: Did you know that if you plan your shopping carefully, clip coupons from the paper, and use their Extra Bucks program, you can get stuff for literally pennies at CVS? I still have 12 bars of soap and 3 tubes of toothpaste that I bought last year for some insane amount of money, like $0.12 each. Some day, I will get back into shopping at CVS but it's a lot of work and can take a lot of time gathering coupons.

By the way, I did have the presence of mind to call the store first to make sure that they really did sell passport photos, that someone was there to take the picture, and that the machine that printed them was working. And it's a good thing I did, because the first store I called had a faulty machine. See? (tapping temple) Smart.

Anyway, when we get there, no one is at the photo counter. I wait there for a few minutes with my coupon and watch the lady working at the register. I keep thinking that she must see me standing there, why doesn't she call the photo person over to help me? Finally, I ask her if there is someone who can help me and she says that she is it - be right with you!

I tell her I need a passport photo, and she pulls out this rinky-dink point and shoot camera and leads me over to the milk coolers where they have a white screen they can pull down for a background. I'm thinking, "Great. This isn't going to be good." And I was right.

She took a second to pull the previous passport pictures that had just finished printing out of the Kodak machine and they were awful. I got a glance and told her that I was very, very concerned about the darkness of the picture since the requirements are to use a light background. She did show me (again) the white background that she was going to place me in front of, and I told her I understand that the background is white in real life, but that if the pictures come out as brown as the ones I just saw then I know they will be rejected and my application will be sent back.

She assured me that she was familiar with the time sensitive nature of passport applications, and that she would do her best to take a great picture. So, we began the picture taking business. Blech. After a few tries (under the yellow incandescent lights of the store, mind you) I asked her if maybe she could try using the flash on the camera. Would you believe she had the nerve to tell me that she had been using the flash already?!

Right. Despite being the one standing on the receiving end, and despite being really concerned about this picture and therefore really paying a lot of attention to what is happening, I must have somehow missed the blinding glare of a flash going off 3 feet from my face. Right. (Bill Cosby, anyone?)

So I asked her, very sweetly, if she would please check her camera settings and try one more time? Amazingly, she got the flash to go off. She then proceeded to change the mode of the camera between action and macro and landscape modes, trying to get a good shot. I am sure that I was the world's pickiest passport photo customer and she didn't seem to be having a good time at all. Fifteen dollars was starting to sound pretty reasonable, but I persevered because I am stubborn like that.

There were now about 3 people lined up at her register and I could see that she was getting agitated. We looked at the pictures on the Kodak machine and I gritted my teeth and picked out the one that I thought might work. If only I could just adjust the colors/brightness on the Kodak machine for her ... but no. She is adamant that there is no way to do that.

I wandered around the store for a few minutes while the picture printed. I wasn't thrilled with the end result but it had to do because I was bound and determined to get the application out in the mail, and it was already 1:00 p.m. The girls get out of school at 2:30 p.m. and I wanted to get it done before then.

We headed back to IL to our local post office since I had a bunch of packages to mail anyway (those clothes are selling pretty well!) I got all my packages mailed and then pulled out my passport application. Turns out that, even though our local post office is listed as an authorized passport processing center, it isn't. I guess I should have phoned first.

The lady at the counter, honest to goodness, asked me, "Do you want to go ahead and mail all your documents anyway?" I mean, come on now. Seriously?! No, thanks. Thankfully, she was able to tell me where to take my forms to get them processed. It's 1:45 p.m. Yikes!

On we go, to the post office in the next town to get our paperwork processed. Matthew has fallen asleep, now, so I have to carry his dead-weight body and try to sign forms, write checks, seal envelopes ... oh my aching arms! But I'd rather have them aching from carrying him than aching from not having him, so it was ok.

In order to make the best attempt at getting my passport before we leave around June 16th, I overnighted my application, birth certificate, photos, copy of my driver's license, and check to the facility in Philadelphia. I paid to expedite the process. I paid to have the passport overnighted back. My checkbook hates me.

But standing on Prince Edward Island in just a few months and pretending with my children that we are part of Anne-with-an-e's world, full of hope and promises of the future ... well, there's a lot of "scope for the imagination" in that thought.